I feel the weight of my weightlessness pulling me, dragging me down, down down beyond the caverns of the abyss into the existential crisis of the eternally damned, into the missing identity of the unsuccessful attempts. I need a break I want a break A break from you, and you, and you and you pretty little things in their pretty littler things I need a break, a permanent break A break-up from you, and you, and you and you the negatives and the 'no's and the 'you're-not-good-enough's. This ceaseless rage inside my head that I'm not good enough, not pretty enough not thin enough, not smart enough, not accomplished enough, not enough, enough. And I've had enough of not being enough And never will I be enough.
And so the axle of the world grinds on
Unaware and uncaring of our futility
Beautiful in spite of, or perhaps
Because of this cold cruelty
I see beauty in madness
and the leverages in our minds, hearts and alleged souls
that make the profoundest of cruelties possible.
What does that say about me?
That I am a deeply compassionate person?
That I have a touch of madness? (Who doesn't?)
That I am a cruel person and recognise what I see in the mirror.
That I am introspective and irreverent.
That I don't judge. (Everyone judges. It's a necessary survival mechanism.)
That I'm on too many drugs. (Haha, I wish I were that high)
That I'm addled f
An Endless Dance, A Soothing Trance by iyari, literature
Literature
An Endless Dance, A Soothing Trance
A haunting, haunting word
Tales spoke not unheard
Trailing witches and wine
Laying reaches to lines
Turning words through my head
an echoing sound in my bed
A start
a go
A high
a low
A why
A no
Forever up and a low.
Trained upon an inner eye
the magnifying of life
Just plucked and strummed
these words that I hum
A violent melody of words
What are we but words, words and words
These letters that ache their final rest in my heart
engraved in my chest like an arrow in my heart
Positioned to fail, a final fall from my grace
But grace?
What is this grace that I speak?
Within me there is but naught that I seek
A whirlwind dance
a lasting trance
C
No words to describe
No tune to do the soul justice
An inner turmoil of ups and downs
pegged carefully to a chart of numbers
telling me what I ought to be feeling
what it means when I'm at so and so height
so and so low.
It's all the same
all a shame
never a gain
smash these boards to blame
Waiting for the dusk of light
an everlasting cast of night
wherein shadows lie in silent wait
to prey my mind and seal my fate
My girl, my girl,
so lovely a turn
Bringing dust to pain
bringing ruin to reign
An empty slot that's aching and red
brought down by the cruel game
King's ransoms, no dimes
Forever fated to restless nights
an empty heartache, this
I want to tell you everything
Listen to my deepest inquisitions
Hear my greatest flaws
My secret lives
My dirty vices
My inner voices
I want to suck you into this sweet misery
a lovely dance with the demons
that sing circles through my heart
A wicked grin
An evil thing
The lights of fires without
I'm sometimes not sure
if I should be clear
I don't even know what I mean
But I think that you're drawn
to those deep wretched things
A trap if ever I saw one
You'll drown and you'll curse
You'll never converse
You'll never be whole anymore.
I feel the weight of my weightlessness pulling me, dragging me down, down down beyond the caverns of the abyss into the existential crisis of the eternally damned, into the missing identity of the unsuccessful attempts. I need a break I want a break A break from you, and you, and you and you pretty little things in their pretty littler things I need a break, a permanent break A break-up from you, and you, and you and you the negatives and the 'no's and the 'you're-not-good-enough's. This ceaseless rage inside my head that I'm not good enough, not pretty enough not thin enough, not smart enough, not accomplished enough, not enough, enough. And I've had enough of not being enough And never will I be enough.
And so the axle of the world grinds on
Unaware and uncaring of our futility
Beautiful in spite of, or perhaps
Because of this cold cruelty
I see beauty in madness
and the leverages in our minds, hearts and alleged souls
that make the profoundest of cruelties possible.
What does that say about me?
That I am a deeply compassionate person?
That I have a touch of madness? (Who doesn't?)
That I am a cruel person and recognise what I see in the mirror.
That I am introspective and irreverent.
That I don't judge. (Everyone judges. It's a necessary survival mechanism.)
That I'm on too many drugs. (Haha, I wish I were that high)
That I'm addled f
I want to tell you everything
Listen to my deepest inquisitions
Hear my greatest flaws
My secret lives
My dirty vices
My inner voices
I want to suck you into this sweet misery
a lovely dance with the demons
that sing circles through my heart
A wicked grin
An evil thing
The lights of fires without
I'm sometimes not sure
if I should be clear
I don't even know what I mean
But I think that you're drawn
to those deep wretched things
A trap if ever I saw one
You'll drown and you'll curse
You'll never converse
You'll never be whole anymore.
I realise it has been some time
since I took to the pages again
Raw and visceral
these feelings that haunt me
are too real to bear catching
and pinning down, like brittle moths,
a travesty of their expression
perverted, degraded, utterly unworthy of lines
It is a frenzy in my ribcage
like a dying butterfly
that knows its time is bare flutters
ripped apart at the wings
into powdery ash
but the beauty defiled
was never whole anyway
guess that makes it okay
a steel sword in the chest
a longing embrace
just waiting, wasting away...
An attachment
a connection
linked through words
traversing time and space and thousands of miles apart
All annoyingly phrased
Not quite an embrace
I'll stick to my mud, thank you very much
Without much effort
(perhaps its the screen)
my feelings come pouring all out
Deep thoughts I never thought to share
Emotions and things
that show I do care
Stay far away
I never gave leave
for you to come in
Stay out and never come back
Listen there’s something new that I’m trying to raise awareness on. Could you please check out this entry? I'd appreciate it. And spread the word if you can, it’s very important